Planning the perfect wedding

A professional wedding photographers guide to planning your wedding

CONGRATULATIONS!

Becoming engaged is a wonderful feeling, bringing you and your partner closer, firming up your future together while receiving so much love and happiness from your friends and family…

Then follows ALL those questions: Date/ Where /Bridesmaids etc and suddenly the euphoria can become totally over-whelming…. but it really doesn’t have to be.

Read below for 20 straight-talking, clear-thinking ways to make this journey lots of fun, not all consuming and certainly stress-free!

1.Wishlist

Having attended over 800 weddings in my role of wedding photographer, from one with just the couple (I became their witness) to an Asian wedding over three days with 700 guests….no two weddings are the same as no two couples are either!

So, work out if you love spring, with fresh hedgerow flowers, a barn or glass house setting, light airy pictures … or perhaps you prefer a large manor house, with all the decadent finery of their state-rooms, and formal gardens. Maybe a woodland ceremony surrounded by tipees is more your vibe or a winter wedding in a centuries old castle.

Once you decide upon your style and season you can start planning!!!

2 Budgeting

Uuurrggh the worst bit… however setting out a realistic financial plan will take a great deal of pressure from you as the months progress but fear not, there’s plenty of apps to guide you The last thing you want is to completely over-stretch yourselves and start married life in debt.

Once you agree your budget, you can plan how soon you can set the date!!!

3 Prioritise

You might have aging grandparents who cannot travel far, you might have dreamt of a wedding on a beach, perhaps one of you more religious than the other, does your work determine certain dates (school holidays for teachers), did you envisage arriving in a horse & carriage or perhaps you will look at a destination wedding, which will limit those who can attend

Once you agree your priorities the research really can begin!!!

4.Venue

Nowadays you really can have your ceremony anywhere and anytime.

Think about central access for your guests, the number of guests it can cater for, what nearby accommodation options are affordable to all, are you considering everything in one venue, or will you choose two destinations that will both need “dressing” and transport providing (a big red bus is a great option but another expense).

Is sole use a major factor, after all not many Brides would want to risk bumping into another Bride on their wedding day.

Many venues have a wonderful, dedicated team to help you with the planning, whereas if you are considering a marquee in a field, hiring a wedding planner will certainly ease the pressures and guide you through unseen elements (from catering tents to porta-loos).

Once you decide where, then you can enjoy choosing your dream venue!!!

5. Legalities

Now you know the style of your wedding, check out the legal aspects.

These vary from registry office declarations followed by an independent celebrant conducting the ceremony, to a traditional Church wedding or mixed faith wedding.

Have either of you changed your names, lived abroad for any length of time, been married before… all these elements need to be covered before you can register your marriage.

Once the legalities are cleared you really can get excited!

6. Guest List

You need to know how many guests you realistically want to share your most special day.

Start with closest friends and family who are a MUST, then have a secondary list for

those you would like to attend.. plus an evening guest list too.

Can your venue cope with these numbers /must you take all their accommodation?

Will children be invited, do you need to arrange a creche for them, as that too is an additional cost

(many parents relish the idea of being a child-free guest)

Once you have your main & secondary lists… send out the Save-the-Dates!

7. Suppliers

Gosh this list can be incredibly long, from photographers to florists, cake makers to bands, hair & MUA to magicians and everything in-between.

Return to your priorities list, ask friends for recommendations, and visit local wedding shows. Often venues hold open days which enable you to meet many suppliers who might provide the same service or product… but you’ll know instantly if their approach, style, personality or product is right for you. Talk to those you like, ask questions (remember they have been doing this many years so should be informative, engaging and interested in your day), then arrange a further zoom or meeting, check out their reviews and read your contract thoroughly to be clear what you will receive for an agreed price.

I believe firmly in a pre-wedding photo-shoot; so many couples will say they hate being in front of the camera… so what better way to relax, gain confidence and see wonderful results than a pre-wedding location shoot, plus you can make it into a guest book or signed photo-frame on the day!

Once you find your ideal supplier – Book them (good suppliers book up years in advance)

8. Insurance

By now you’ll have paid many deposits, so you need to be sure that should anything happen, whether illness, redundancy or damage/ fire to your venue, your financial investment is safe or alternatives would be provided by your insurance

Once the insurance is paid, you will have Peace of mind – no matter what!

9.Wedding Party

Choosing your Chief Bridesmaid or Best Man might be easy but deciding upon the remaining wedding party can be really difficult! Trying to choose long term friends over family can be a nightmare, along with the whole group dynamic!.

Remember it is your day… your way… and if necessary, have open conversations at the start to avoid unnecessary expectations! The larger the party, the greater the cost, not just in dresses/ suits but flowers, hair & MUA, transport and gifts.

Keeping the party smaller but asking others to give a reading or help with the planning can alleviate unnecessary costs or awkwardness and gains you a helper along the way.

Once the bridal party is agreed, have a wedding night get-together to allocate jobs!

10. THE Dress

Probably the most exciting element for Mums and bridesmaids….

Do your research and read reviews before booking your appointment, keep an open mind and be guided by the knowledgeable staff who know what dresses suit certain shapes.

In my career over 25 years, I’ve seen stunning dresses that were literally perfect for the bride, making her look and feel like a model, and others which should never have been sold to them. No one wants to see a Bride hitching up her dress through her wedding video, or unable to kneel at her ceremony. Sleeves need to allow movement for your first dance, the train to be hooked up easily, perhaps a winter wedding will suit a cloak, or an over skirt that reveals an elegant slim-line skirt for evening.

Whatever style, make sure you can sit, walk, relax and dance in it!

Once you find the one – order it as many take 12 long months to arrive!

11.Accessories

Flowers, veil, shoes, jewellery all need to be thought about carefully. You certainly don’t want the bouquet to be too heavy or hide your dress detail, your veil needs to work with your chosen hairstyle and the season (long cathedral veils are my speciality but can be tricky and pull on a windy day), shoes need to be comfortable and be careful of large top detail that can catch on the underside of your dress making walking really difficult!

My best advice is to always take chosen elements to each trial/ fitting; for example wear a white t shirt shaped like your dress to your hair/ MUA trial, take jewellery and your shoes to the dress fitting, film the dress being fastened so that your Mum or bridesmaid will remember how to fasten it on the wedding day!

Once you’ve had all your trials, keep the photographs as a reference point!

12. Update 

Now is the time to re-connect with all your suppliers, arrange food & wine tastings to determine your menu, check in with transport and florists, book your pre-wedding photo-shoot, check out additional accommodation, go see your band play locally, all of this will allow you to plan a running order of the day.

The main people that need to “hand over the baton” to each other are your hair & MUA (critical they must finish at an agreed time), the photographer, the venue.

All these professionals play a significant part in the smooth, relaxed running of your day.

Once you have spoken with your suppliers a time-schedule can be shared

13.Invitations

You’ll now be receiving acknowledgements from your save the dates so it’s time to finalise your guest list:

Send out your official stationery along with menu choices, allergen notifications, accommodation options and to book their place on any transport you are providing.

Send out your gift list, whether an online wish list, a request for money for an amazing honeymoon, or a contribution towards your suppliers… all guests like to be informed and prepared.

As the replies are returned, start your table plan – a huge white board or wall with sticky notes is ideal as it can be moved and altered to suit.

Once your table plan is made, you can see how the room will look!

14. Bridal party attire

not all styles will suit all body shapes, so it’s worth asking their opinions. Do you want them all in one colour but different styles, are you asking them to find their own shoes, perhaps multiway dresses are an option. Have you children attending as leaving their clothing purchase till later allows for growth!

You want to be sure everyone will feel comfortable on the day.

Working with complimentary colours to the venue, suits, dresses and flowers will harmonise your wedding pictures, however bright, bold blocks of colour might be your vibe!

Once the suits & dresses are bought, your vision will come alight!

15 Rings.

You may already know the style you want.. in fact they might come as a set already, but if you want a bespoke ring,

specific engraving, a precious metal or a wedding band to fit around an unusual engagement ring then

make contact with your jeweller of choice, to allow them time to perfect your ideas.

Once the rings are bought, add them to your insurance and remember the safe place they are kept!

16. Hen & Stag

The options are endless and so is the cost!

Talk openly with your bridal party about what you would like and also what you would not! Arrange these events well ahead of the wedding so that you can relax and enjoy your time away, rather than squeezing it in a week or two before, putting endless pressure on you, using up valuable financial resources, risking sun-tan lines and a shaved eyebrow Be realistic about your Stag/Hen – not everyone will get on!

Once the stag and hen are booked, check everyone has the necessary passports!

17. Honeymoon

You may now have a healthy financial fund towards your honeymoon, but if not, defer the BIG holiday and plan a mini-moon… just a few days away to reflect upon your wedding day is often enough and having a more exotic honeymoon to look forward to can take away those post wedding blues, but if deferring your trip abroad, send off your marriage certificate and passport in plenty of time.

Once your mini/honeymoon is booked check your paperwork is correct and in date!

18. Final Countdown

Don’t panic! …with just weeks to go, your to-do lists will be longer than ever!

Refer back to your helpers and ask them to carry out certain tasks, whether filling boxes with bio-degradable confetti or writing name place cards for the tables….

Ask everyone in the bridal party to try on their outfits… it’s too late to get a larger waistcoat or pair of cufflinks on the morning of your wedding!

Make any final calls to suppliers, cross checking finer details and contact numbers

Once you’ve cross checked all details, relax and treat yourself to a spa day!

19. Ceremony

You will have perfected your ceremony with your officiant, be they a Priest, Vicar, Registrar or Independent Celebrant. You may well have a final meeting or rehearsal with them and your immediate bridal party (certainly Parents, Best Man & Chief Bridesmaid), to run through timings, readings and any special rituals.

Print out all the readings and time schedule with spare copies (just in case)

Once you’ve attended your rehearsal, you know you’re only days away!

20. Enjoy

This amazing day has been in planning for months if not years, because you wanted it to be perfect.

I’m sure it will be, but if something doesn’t quite play out as expected… don’t worry, only you know the exact details…

Everyone is there to celebrate with you, to share in your happiness, so let the day flow, knowing that you chose all those professionals for their experience, skill-set, and knowledge.

If it rains… so what, you’ll have umbrellas, if it’s hot, who cares… just have sun screen in the toilets for guests. If timings run over, well it happens, but your suppliers will work behind the scenes to agree a new timeline that allows your day to run seamlessly.

Your day will be magical so enjoy the planning and don’t over-think the process. During your wedding day, stop and look around you, see all those smiling faces and take time to observe, just you and your partner.

I hope you’ve found the information helpful…

I simply LOVE weddings….having attended over 800 weddings, I appreciate everyone’s individuality and choices… my role is to capture that individuality, atmosphere and beauty in a relaxed, timeless way… to create for you an amazing collection of imagery that you can share with family for today, tomorrow and forever

Fancy a chat… I’d love to hear all about your plans, whatever stage you’re at!

Email: [email protected]

Tel: 07760 256575

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